Lord of Mirrors
by Ataokoloinona
Summary: Sometimes the line between what is damaged and what is truly broken are just hairline fractures.
1. Sinopia Crow

I've recently decided that Gaara and Sakura are my favorite coupling from the Naruto universe. Therefore I searched FanFiction for GaaSaku related fanfictions, an obvious recourse no? Well, I didn't really find a whole lot that I actually liked and surprisingly I found that most of them were AU or unrealistically optimistic from the start or I just didn't like the style some stories were written in. This troubled me. So I decided that the only option left to me was to just write what I wanted to read in the first place.

This story was inspired plot-wise by the poem "Purdah" by Sylvia Plath, you'll notice that that's where the title came from, and thanks need to be given to Randomsomeone because her stories also inspired me to write this pairing in particular. I don't know if she'll ever read it but I'd like to give her my thanks anyway. If you like to listen to music while reading, I listened to "Winter Song" by Cheryl Ann Fulton, and "Awake and Alive" by Skillet while writing this.

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She stopped calling Kakashi "teacher" when she turned eighteen, the year she realized that really? What had he ever _really_ taught her that she hadn't already learned from her academy days or from a book? Not much. What _had_ he taught her? That her aspirationsand level of skill would never meet? That she had no talent? That she wasn't really part of the team since she was weak? That she was weak, ultimately, because she was a girl? He didn't really want her, no, because what was she to Sasuke? Even to Sasuke's memory? Hell, she hadn't even been level with Naruto, and Kakashi hadn't bothered to help him either.

But in the end she didn't really know, and she didn't want to know, not the truth at any rate. If she voiced these hurts out loud the words would make them real, if she kept them in her heart Kakashi wouldn't have to answer them. They weren't real if she didn't say them. Things could stay the same if she kept her wounds covered and out of sight. So she remained silent and did the only thing she could do. She took her lack of potential and power elsewhere. And she had flourished. She wondered sometimes if he knew. If he even cared.

He had placed all of his hope and power in one person, only to be disappointed and betrayed. As they all had. And now instead of having three he didn't even have one. Instead of a team, a family that they should have been, there was instead only fragmented and bitter memories. Reminders of failure. Maybe even reminders of his own team. His own past. She didn't know.

It wasn't entirely his fault, this too was something she knew. She _had_ been weak. But he had been her teacher. He was supposed to look past her shell and see her heart. He was supposed to have believed in her, pushed her, cultivated her, encouraged her. It had been his _duty_. But he had failed her and now he was alone. She was alone too, in the end they were all alone weren't they?

She was lucky, she supposed, that she had realized this relatively early on. That is that Sasuke had been the basket with all the eggs. Naruto had seen it as well, though as always, he handled himself much better than she did. Even though he was loud and seemed to be extremely immature he always seemed to understand too. The way he handled himself, she would even use the word "graceful" to define it. He was empathic, that seemed to be his special gift. So he understood, and she merely saw, but they both had known it for what it was and had gone elsewhere. To more welcoming and helpful arms. Was he bitter? She couldn't tell, his mask was much more complicated then a slip of fabric over his face. It wasn't just skin deep. Everything about Kakashi was veiled, layered, _complicated_.

Was _she_ bitter? Yes. _Yes._ Was _she_ jealous? From the beginning.

It was hard to look back and see what could have been. To see what other teams had. Other teams that _had _become family. Bonded by more than just mere familiarity and time. Team seven had had those, but it took more than that and she hated that she didn't know what that something was. She could guess, scrabble for it, but that knowledge had been stolen from her. She was impressed more by the unfairness of that fact then about any other. All she had were shattered pieces of glass that obviously were supposed to fit together, but didn't.

She felt isolated between the walls of her own ineptitude and cruel fate. But she had changed that hadn't she? She was the apprentice of Tsunade herself. The _Hokage._One of the last Sannin. That counted for something didn't it? Wasn't that worth enough to be taken seriously? Why didn't anybody ever see _her_?

She cried alone at night sometimes.

At first she hated that she cried but the tears were good, she decided. They helped her to wash away the sadness in her heart. She was sorry for herself sure, but these tears were a release not a containment of her misery. So she cried. She wanted to believe that it would all come together someday; but miracles didn't happen. At least not around her. Or maybe just not the good kind. Weren't bad miracles called "anomalies" or "bad luck"? It seemed to be on the tip of her tongue.

So she would cry until she could watch the sun rise and not wonder where Sasuke was. If he was safe. If he was still here, would that change her own life? She knew he couldn't be happy, he refused to be. She wasn't dumb enough not to realize the significance of his leaving when he had. He had started to be comfortable with them, and as soon as that happened he ran away. She laughed at this, he had always called her annoying and stupid and so forth, yet he had done the same thing he had always accused her of. That seemed like pretty black hypocrisy, especially when one considered the implications of his actions.

After crying she could reach that numb place that was secure. Her relative normality.

Her brave face.

She would, could, _had_ to wait until the day when someone would see her. Really see her. She could be patient, she had been so far.

She didn't want to be all powerful, she didn't want to be immortal. She didn't want to be _untouchable_. Sasuke had shown her what that life was like, and she didn't ever want to become _that._ All she wanted was to be strong enough to protect what was important to her. The people close to her, this home in which she lived, whatever scraps of family she had left. The greatest of these, her secret wish, was her dream for a whole family. One built from whole parts_, _not fragile pieces thrown together by chance. An unbroken chain. The tastes she had had before had only made her thirsty for more. Who knew something that sounded so simple was really so hard, sometimes seemed so impossible? Especially when she should have had a family from the start.

In her heart of hearts she knew Sasuke would not, could not, be the fulfiller of that dream. No matter how much she had wanted it, still wanted it if she was honest with herself at all. He was tainted and not even her wishes or her big heart, all her love, could change that.

He was bitter and broken not only because of the past, but because he had broken himself. It was beyond even her skill to heal damage that was self-inflicted. Corruption that had been desired of all things. How could that ever be mended? Even if he did eventually murder his brother and right whatever wrong he perceived he would never be the same. That kind of damage wouldn't heal nicely, if at all. It became a matter of pride to hold that tear as closely as possible even as it tore you apart, that was what scar tissue was. She should know.

Such knowledge was hard, but how else could she explain five years? Five years of dismissal, betrayal and anger. Would she take him back? In a heartbeat. It was the only thing she had known. She didn't know how to move past it. She wanted to, but she didn't want to admit to herself she may not be that strong. Didn't have it as together as the Hokage's personal student should have had it together. Would he come back though? She hadn't the heart to answer that question either. Could she love him as she had before, if he did come back? Was what she felt even love at all? She wasn't so sure anymore.

It was one thing to love someone. It was something else entirely to follow them blindly. Against everything reasonable, or even fair. Who'd have thought?

She felt kind of numb. The streets blurred one into the next. She wasn't paying attention to where her feet led her anymore. She couldn't stop thinking about the past. Her main purpose in life, the one she had made for herself, had ultimately become a liability. To her health, her happiness, perhaps even to her life one day. A mistake. This had been the product of her blind trust. Blind. That it would work out. That he wasn't as damaged as he'd seemed. That he could forget the pain and move on. It had been stupid of her. Of course it had been stupid, why would she think he could get over the murder of his entire family and way of life? That _she_ could _change_ him? Arrogance! At least she could be slightly comforted in the fact that his leaving had been a surprise. Though the voice in her head whispered that they had all been idiots not to see it coming, or to refuse to see it. Herself included. She swallowed her pride and said it now, though now it didn't matter.

She was too late.

They all were.

Had been.

Perhaps still were. Probably.

She didn't remember her parents. The reason she had entered the Academy at all was because she was an orphan and had nowhere to go anyway. That was the story of many shinobi in her village, any village. What family in their right mind would allow their children to become shinobi? It was like guaranteeing an early death. Clans were different. They valued this way of life. They had raised each generation with the understanding that they would be soldiers, it was a matter of pride and honor. It was where blood abilities came from. However she had had no choice, she saw it now for what it really was. A place to put unwanted children where they could serve the community as a whole, fodder for the canon of war. Yet she was still grateful. She wasn't dead yet, and now she had the skills to make a name and a living for herself.

And she wouldn't trade her past, as painful as it was, for any other life. She couldn't even imagine what her life would be like as a street rat. Unwanted, for anything. Here she had a name, as she was. Even behind all the screens and curtains of duty and honor and any other reason to die. She _would_ honor them. She was grateful.

But that didn't mean she was happy. Not by far. She was content, she had fleeting moments of happiness. But too much was missing for her to honestly say she was happy. Really happy. No, just because she was alive didn't mean she had anything to live_ for_. Not that living for anybody was such a great idea anyway, but it had been _something_. Now she didn't really know what to do with herself anymore. She would protect her home, with her life if necessary, but a place didn't make you whole, didn't encourage you, didn't love you back. That's what she really wanted. She wanted to be loved. That was a real reason to better herself.

She_ was_loved. Just not in the intimate way she craved. She had the motherly love of Tsunade, the sisterly love of Ino; and as much as Naruto said it, his love tasted more like the love of a brother than a _lover._ Which is what she wanted. She wanted a love that encompassed and comprised. The love of family and friends was like a blanket that kept you warm and covered. She wanted to be seared from the inside. To understand. To share _everything_. To understand. That was what she wanted most. Understand, be understood. Love.

That was the missing fragment of her life. She had the job, a pseudo purpose. A goal, though more often then not it seemed like the goal of others. She had family, friends, a house, a home. Now she just needed a lover to give everything to. To be weak. To be whole.

She was vaguely aware that this desire was selfish of her, and somewhat shallow, but she _wanted _it. Wanted it with all her heart. Did wanting something as badly as that still make it wrong? How could that even be judged? Besides what was her own selfishness in compare to Sasuke's? She was practically angelic in compare to _him_.

Her heart clenched and her eyes watered as she dragged him into her thoughts once more. Must she always hurt herself? Why couldn't she just move on and forget? _Damnit_! She still "loved" him, whatever "love" was anymore. Wanted him as well as everything else. Stumbling forlornly down the street she finally stopped and just slid down a tree into an upright pile.

Had he always had this much power over her? He made her feel all these things. Anger. Despondency. Sadness. It even got to Naruto sometimes, despite his smiles and enthusiastic promises. Promises they wouldn't tell each other could never be fulfilled. It was another one of those things that Team 7 never talked about. Maybe that was their problem. They never _talked_. They were pros at skirting the issue, at offering lies and riddles instead of the truth. Real "A" class shinobi that was for sure.

It was this one thing that kept everyone from being happy. It was this one thing, and she still had no inkling to why it had to happen in the first place and no matter how much she dug there was always some conveniently hollow explanation in her way. There was no plausible reason for Itachi to have gone off like that, no indications, but she couldn't prove anything. So all they were left with was the sad fact that Sasuke was gone and nothing could ever be "normal" again. It seemed to color every aspect of her life.

She could feel the sun on her face, the grass under her fingers. But the light was cold, the grass coarse and the tree hard at her back.

Her meeting with the Hokage, her training session with Kakashi, her lunch date with the girls, her shift at the hospital. All forgotten. Instead she let her heart go and soaked in all her loneliness. She didn't want to be a better person at the moment. It was just easier to mope and wallow in self-pity. She really disliked herself. Almost hated herself. Almost.

In this state of mind she didn't notice the trickle of sand creeping up her ankle until it was too late. The angry, roiling chakra, the snide stare, the smirk that revealed all of his too sharp teeth. His whole figure exuded aggression and anger and her first reaction was to recoil. How had she not noticed that? She was supposed to be alert damnit! And she had been too caught up in herself to notice when someone apparently wanted to _murder_ her!

That seemed to make his presence even heavier. His smirk broaden. Flashes of memory blinked through her mind. Overwhelming pressure crushing her bones. Sharp claws digging across her skin. His acrid tasting desire to snuff out her existence. Wasn't once enough?

Fear washed over her and made her feel sick. He still wanted to kill her. An image of her blood spattered and smeared across his face dripped into her mind, _her_ blood on his tongue as he savored her death. Enjoyed it.

Fear turned to disgust, then disgust turned to anger; if it was possible he became even larger, his eyes even harder, his teeth even sharper.

Anger turned to panicked rage as she stared at him. How dare he look at her that way! How dare he make her feel these things, bringing up the past! How dare he _touch_ her!

Scrambling to her feet before the sand constricted anymore on her body, she attempted to frantically rub the sand from her legs, arms, anywhere, but it wouldn't move against her fingers. Instead it constricted slowly, ever so slowly, and then moved to crawl and spiral up her skin. She was trapped. Trapped. She felt the panic rise.

He wouldn't really kill her in broad daylight would he? In her own home? Would he? There was the alliance! Would that be strong enough to give her a way out of this? Preferably still alive?

She thought so.

Determination rose along with the sand and replaced the fear in her eyes. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. If she had to she was ready to die, it wasn't like she had a whole lot to lose in the first place anyway. She felt the sand twirl around her wrists, rush softly, ever upward. Creeping, creeping, creeping. Down her arms, up her spine. Mockingly gentle. Across her face. Against her neck. Through her hair. She could even feel it slipping quietly along under the edges of her clothing. She blushed despite the imminent danger and instead of whimpering like she was as helpless as she was, she bit down harder on her lip. Harder, harder until the sharp metallic tang of blood leaked into her mouth. Then the sand seemed to thrum against her and she could swear she felt _glee_ coming from it.

Sadistic bastard!

Couldn't he just hurry and get it over with?

Must he play with her like she was some kind of cat toy? A ball on a string? He wouldn't be so interested if he broke his new _toy._ That was for sure. She refused to be treated like this. Even if she died she would do it with dignity. She would demand that he fight her instead of dangling her around in his sand as if she was nothing more than a feather. She'd rather go down fighting him then to die because he was just _playing _with her and '_Oops, guess she really was as fragile_ _she looked'_!She silently fumed and opened her eyes.

When had he gotten so close? If she moved her head forward even a little she would bump foreheads with him. She was so close she could see the seams in his clothing. Smell the sickly sweet scent of blood wafting up from his body. She felt sick. The implied intimacy made her feel even more sick. And there was still that damned sand gliding across her skin, her face, so softly it almost felt like a caress.

He was mocking her.

It was as if he had been reading her thoughts from the beginning and was making fun of her pain. Her _existence_. She couldn't move under the weight of the sand coiling around her arms and legs but she still defiantly raised her eyes to meet his. She dared him to take it further. Where? She didn't know. Just that his touch made her physically ill.

She felt it before she heard it. A low vibration that rumbled through his chest, through his sand, and straight into her own body. It reminded her of a cat purring. It would almost be a comfortable feeling if it wasn't coming from _him_. If it wasn't _him_ laughing at her. If it wasn't _him _proving how easily he could kill her. It would be like a candle being blown out by a gale. She hated that it would be so easy. How could she have not noticed him?

But then she could hear it too. A deep sound, which surprised her considering how small he looked. And then there was that high pitched keening noise mixed into it. An undertone of insanity. She couldn't help but shiver, he seemed to like that. It was the most disturbing thing she could ever remember hearing. Even more so then the sound of bones breaking.

He sneered at her.

And then if it was even possible he moved closer to her. So close that she could feel his breath, hot and bitter, on her face and his sleeve brushing against her sand covered arms. Why hadn't anybody come to save her yet? Where the hell was everyone? This was Konoha! This was an open street for god's sake! He was about to tear her apart, she _knew _it, and it didn't seem like there was another soul on the street to see it happen. Would they be able to recognize her when he was done? Would they know what had happened when he was gone?

She glared at him and grit her teeth, preparing for what was to come. She swallowed another mouthful of her own blood. Sick, sick, sick! She was so sick! He leaned forward, her breath froze in her throat, and then he inhaled deeply. She shuddered. The sand curled around again. Another coil like a snake eating it's own tail. Covered. Hidden.

He took one more breath in and licked his lips slowly. His voice was deep, as smooth and silky as the blades of her scalpels. How it cut!

"Sakura... You look so..._ lost_..."

Then with a violent shove and a rush of sand he was gone.

She was left on her knees, too weak to stand once he wasn't there to support her. She shuddered in the dirt, alone.

She shook in the summer sun.


	2. Point A to Step Two

Chapter one can be read as a one shot if that's the kind of thing you like more, but I just feel like this story has more to say. So here we go again.

Oh, and Arata is mine, you can't have her, or her crazy hot pink glasses. :P (Which means that she's an OC, just to be clear.)

This chapter's music:

The Thesbian- Alesana, Hello Fascination- Breath Carolina, Savior- Rise Against, Live Your Life- T.I. feat. Rihanna

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She sat off to the side of the road for several minutes in shock before her breathing evened and her hands stopped shaking. But even when she slowly raised herself to her feet, her stomach clenched painfully then fell and her legs gave out from beneath her. She fell ungracefully to her knees and leaning over swiftly she vomited into the bushes.

She cursed under her breath at her weakness as she furiously scrubbed at her mouth with the back of her hand, but she felt a little better now that her stomach was empty and so she rose to her feet once more. Looking at the pile of vomit she wrinkled her nose in disgust and kicked some dirt over the top of it. Then she brushed loose grass and some gravel from her clothes and walked away, she didn't want to be near that place any longer.

What had made this time any different from the last? She cursed again, she didn't usually use such fowl language but she felt like she had to say _something_. The words felt rough and unnatural on her tongue and for that reason they jogged in her a skewed sort of happiness. At least she was together enough _to_ curse.

Taking a few deep breaths she tried to ease the tension in her shoulders. She did a few quick stretches and clenched and unclenched her fists until she didn't feel so weak or felt so strongly the need to break something. Letting out one last calm breath, she sent out a faint net of chakra.

She could "see" using chakra much like a bat could "see" using echolocation; the surrounding buildings, animals, all matter essentially. She just had to concentrate not to miss the details. Manipulating energy was all about control, control and focus.

He wasn't here.

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She was both relieved, and oddly, grateful. He hadn't seen her barf in the bushes like a wuss. She was ashamed and angry that after all she had been through one kid could make her lose control like that, she was a medic for goodness sakes! She should be able to control her stomach of all things!

Yet if she was honest she was also disappointed. She couldn't comprehend why. In a situation like this she shouldn't have wanted him anywhere near her. She decided that that particular sentiment didn't bear thinking on and so she pushed it out of her head.

Feeling somewhat safe from the results of her probe she straightened. She could at least pretend that nothing had happened. Because not only was Gaara not there, nobody else was either. She needed to have a serious discussion with Shishou, that was her first order of business. She began a fast march towards the Hokage tower, Tsunade probably already knew that _he _was here, but she'd feel better telling her Shishou anyway. Because she didn't understand what was going on, but she knew she needed to know. She needed to have some measure of control, that's what she really wanted anyway if you got right down to it and it would really help if people bothered to give her a memo every once in a while.

Why was he here first of all. How had he found her and most importantly what did he _want_? Had he purposely sought her out? She glared down at the pavements, it would explain a lot. She was on a team with Sasuke, whom he had tried to kill, and Naruto, who he had also tried to kill but who had defeated him and kept him from killing them both. That must be the reason why he had purposely tried to terrify her. And it had worked. She was so pissed at herself.

It would explain all of this and how else would he have known where she was? She had first hand experience with people who held grudges.

But now that she thought about it why would he look for her? She hadn't been able to do anything against him but get caught. She hadn't been any sort of threat at all, nothing worth holding a grudge for. She had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Again.

Though this time he hadn't hurt her, not really, she may be bruised in places but bruises were hardly life threatening.

She was thoroughly confused. It was almost laughable how melodramatic her life always seemed to be. Maybe if she was lucky she could laugh at all this someday. But that depended on whether or not Gaara really had it out for her, and considering what a little psychopath he was, it was quite probable.

She quickly threw that thought away with a shake of her head. It didn't matter what happened in the past, she just had to learn from it and be better for next time. But there was a sick feeling in her stomach that maybe she couldn't get any better. What if this was it?

_Oh, come off it Pinky._

Come off what?

_You know exactly what I mean. _

No I don't.

_Then let me spell it out for you, you're only pathetic because you let yourself be pathetic. The real question is if it's because you really are weak or if you just really like being saved all the time. Either way the pity trip won't help you at all, except if you want to star in a Soap. Which wouldn't be too bad, I love those things. _

Sometimes I really hate you.

_Which is pretty funny considering I __**am**__ you._

How about _you_ come off it this time?

_Oh? Getting defensive on me? Maybe there's hope for you yet. You know? Maybe that was what Gaara was on about too._

What?

_You know, that whole being "lost" thing. He is a Jinchuuriki isn't he? Maybe he can smell that sort of thing on you._

That is really creepy to think about. And what "sort of thing" are you going on about?

_Because of the fear? You are pretty weak when it comes to doing the big things, maybe it's the pressure that gets to you. You seriously over think things most of the time anyway. If that's it then maybe he does want to try and kill you again, finish the job so to speak. _

You don't have to sound all excited about it... if I go then you go too after all.

_True... Though that would be a pretty cool way to die. Right up there with falling in a volcano or being struck by lightning. _

Ok, we're done, I've had enough of you!

_Fine, fine. Just remember that this is __**Gaara**__we're talking about, he may be crazy but he doesn't seem to do anything for the heck of it. Except maybe killing people. Hahaha!_

I know! That's why this is freaking me out!

This _was_Gaara who'd just attacked her a few minutes ago, not just some random shinobi doing their job on a mission like she did. Gaara, who'd almost killed Lee, Sasuke, and herself. Who'd tried to kill Naruto. She'd heard stories about his past, how he'd just killed people because they were there. How he'd killed his own relatives. She didn't understand it. She really needed to see Shishou. She'd fix all of this, she was the damn Hokage after all. Besides a shinobi should always keep a clear head when under duress, she couldn't afford to lose her cool anymore. There would be a logical explanation for all this and an equally logical solution.

Also Inner was right, not only was she tired of people trying to off her, she was tired of feeling sorry for herself. Maybe if she could overcome her self-esteem issues she could work better under pressure. It sounded like a good enough plan. People wouldn't always be there to save her, this morning only proved it, she had to get stronger so she could save herself. She wasn't just some damsel in distress, she was a proud shinobi of the Leaf!

... But really! He'd tried to kill her _twice _now! She felt that familiar anger rising in her again. She grit her teeth and glared through everything in her path. Twice!

Think through this Sakura, even if that was so, he hadn't... For whatever reason.

She was still here to think about it and get angry. Naruto was still here, as was Lee, and as far as she knew Sasuke was out there somewhere too. Alive.

Her anger vanished as quickly as it came and left her with only another sick feeling in her stomach.

What the hell did he _want_?

This was getting so old. She hated feeling afraid! She was also hungry. Where _was_ everyone?

She blinked and looked around her again. She was almost to her destination but now she was aware again and the world came back into focus. She had been doing it again. She hated when Inner was right, right now she'd be great on a Soap, leading actress material for sure. She laughed at herself and looked around. She was starving. Nothing like the morning she'd had to make a girl hungry.

All the shops that lined the street with their brightly colored awnings were closed. The only life on that street seemed to be a flock of pigeons and a very persistent cat. She curiously looked into a window as she passed, it was dark. She paused and leaned against a wall. This all didn't make any sense, where was everybody? This was a city! As in people, lots of people, were supposed to be here. She wondered if something was going on and it was just that nobody had bothered to tell her about it.

Story of her life she sighed.

She would worry about the civilians later, if they were _all_gone and there hadn't been any explosions or screams of terror or anything even remotely hostile then they were probably safe somewhere else. Besides she wasn't that stupid, other than Gaara and she assumed his siblings as well, she hadn't sensed anyone foreign, at least anyone with chakra and the desire to kill. She would know she felt like freezing and running at the same time when she felt killing intent.

She accounted it to her above average chakra control that she could sense such fluctuations in a person's chakra. Chakra was the fuel that keeps all living things alive, strong emotions triggered bodily responses in the form of chemicals which in turn stimulated physical reactions. So basically if someone was, say, angry then the chakra would stimulate the brain which would send electrical impulses to the adrenal glands which would then produce adrenaline and bang! The person would have all the physical reactions associated with anger. Of course it was very complicated and she had oversimplified the process but in general terms that was how it worked. Besides she believed that people were more than just chemicals and nerves. She was human too after all.

She really had to get a grip on herself, medic mode was fine and all but it was getting to be one step away from Inner. And one of _her_ was bad enough. She tilted her head for a second. Silence. How ironic.

Anyways, what she should really be thinking about, instead of biology lessons in her head, was what she would tell Tsunade. Now _that _was a scary thought. She mentally reprimanded herself again for screwing up. She should have been aware of her surroundings. _Be_aware at all times. She hadn't seen Gaara because she had been too busy thinking about herself. She wouldn't have time anymore to mope if she was dead. And it was stupid too, she hadn't even tried to fight back after he had caught her. She had just frozen up under his near palpable killing intent. Like a deer with light in it's eyes. Or had it just merely been keen interest? It hadn't felt quite like it had the last time. Well from what she had learned from after that... incident, he hadn't been halfway transformed into some sort of psychotic sand racoon thing. Joy.

... She was just thinking about it too much again. Like when she tried to excuse Sasuke from every bad decision he had ever made. She sighed, she was just too compassionate and forgiving for her own good. And what was up with that anyway? She could forgive Sasuke for being an utter bastard but she always got hung up on herself. She smacked her head. She wished her brain would just listen to her for once.

She stopped in the middle of the street. She was _really _starting to lose it now. Trying to convince herself that herself was or wasn't something she was... or wasn't... Yeah she was going insane. She laughed again and continued on her way. Damn, she wished it wasn't so quiet. Maybe she should take a vacation. Just a little one. To some remote and far away place. Preferably some remote, far away place near a spa and the ocean. With those hot rocks and fruity drinks and cabana boys! Hot ones! Yeah that sounded good...

She froze and stopped breathing. Hastily she drew a kunai from the bandage that wrapped around one of her weapon's holsters. Carefully she backed into an alley and peered around a vibrant green awning. She saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. Increasing the flow of chakra to her arms and legs she creeped around the corner of the wall. Target at three o'clock from her position. Gathering herself she simultaneously leapt from her hiding place and drew her kunai arm back, a furious look on her face, no _way_ would she be caught unawares again, and promptly... Laughed at herself.

It was just the cat that had been chasing the pigeons earlier. With a pathetic mewl, that made her feel somewhat guilty for overreacting, it jumped into her arms and frantically licked her hand. It hurt but she didn't have the heart to make it stop. She just patted it on it's little gray tabby head a few times and continued on her way... Again.

~O~

Luckily or perhaps unfortunately she didn't notice the sand slowly slithering between the cobbles on the street.

~O~

One block later and the cat apparently felt a little better about the whole situation because it hissed and scratched her as it bailed for freedom. Ingrate. Her arm was going to itch like crazy later. Cat scratches were almost as bad as mosquito bites, well at least in her opinion.

On another note, it was hot out. It was funny how you hated winter because it was cold and wish for summer and then when it was summer complain because it was too hot and wish for winter. Whoever planned that one out knew what they were doing. She snorted at her bad joke.

But that was fine because she could see the wooden slats of the roof coming into view. Not to mention the whole thing was practically red. Spirit of fire for sure she laughed.

The Hokage tower was the tallest building in Konoha and from the top you could see miles in any direction. It was tall as much for appearances as it was for strategy. Hard to sneak up on a town when they could see you at least a day's travel in advance. Well maybe not shinobi she thought ruefully, but then again if the Daimyo or any other sort of adversary used a regular army, _then _they couldn't sneak up on Konoha. And then there was the Hokage monument protecting one whole side of the village _with_secret catacombs riddled throughout. The only weak spot she could see were that the walls weren't made out of solid stone but they had done pretty well all things considered. Strategy was a difficult thing, being one step ahead when sometimes you didn't even know who your enemies were, or sometimes even your allies. She was glad she wasn't Hokage.

"Hey hun! Are you just going to stand there letting all the cold air out or are you going to come in here and respect the environment?"

"Huh?" Darn it, this was the third time today she'd spaced like that.

"It's ok hun, I know you're just overwhelmed with thoughts of those poor, poor pandas and whales and things that you're saving by _getting your butt in here and shutting the door._"

"Oh, uh, sorry Arata-san." She laughed awkwardly and scratched her neck a little in embarrassment. Arata-san was weird... or just plain crazy. It didn't surprise her at all that Tsunade-shishou would hire such a nut job. Not like she was one to talk though.

"And stop calling me "san" or whatever, it gets annoying, seriously." Arata had a funny way of looking at you over her ridiculous hot pink horn-rimmed glasses when she was annoyed that made you feel like you were the one wearing ridiculous hot pink horn-rimmed glasses. She wondered if it was a natural Arata thing or if she had picked it up from Tsunade-shishou, not to mention the fact that she had no idea where anyone could even _get_such stupid glasses. But it was probably all Arata, you had to be insane to begin with to take any sort of job under Tsunade willingly.

"Speaking of serious want me to read your fortune? I just got this new shipment of Jasmine tea for this shop that I'm going to start and I want to do some comparisons on tea leaf patterns. It's going to be beautiful. I can see it all now. I just haven't decided on a name yet. What do you like more? The Scarlet Tiger or The Chamomile Pheonix? I want it to sound relaxing, because it's like tea, _duh_, but also kick-ass at the same time. Do you think it's overkill? I'm still not very sure..."

"... Uh?"

Arata sighed and leaned back in her chair, "Don't worry about it, I sense a disturbance in the force anyway. Oh and you might want to cover that scratch on your arm, the force is a bit testy today."

"Arata get your ass back to work! I don't have time for your stupid tea shop schemes!"

Arata smiled, then conspiratorially leaned over and whispered a "Told you so." before straightening up and pasting a nasty scowl on her lips. Sakura just wondered how old this woman really was and where the _hell_Shishou had dug her up from.

"Like you're one to talk! You're just an alcoholic Hokage wannabe! Shizune and I do all the work around this joint! I deserve a raise just because I stick around and bother with your pathetic ass! Not to mention even coming to work during a festival!"

She could hear the ominous clicking of Tsunade's heels approaching when the lady herself hung her head down to look over the banister of the stairs, she had a stack of papers in her hand. Looked like she had actually been working that morning, "A raise? You're crazy Arata, you don't even do half the things your supposed to! And the festival hasn't officially started anyway, we're still setting it up. Nice try." Tsunade stuck her tongue out at Arata. It was very difficult for Sakura to resist smacking her head again, it had had enough abuse today.

"That's a lie and you know it, but give me the weekend off and I'll overlook this slanderous libel against my person and work ethic ." Arata had a crazy gleam in her eyes and a smirk on her lips.

Just another day at the office Sakura thought wryly. But a festival, that would explain everything.

"Deal."

"Good, ok hun get your butt moving, looks like she was expecting you. Oh and I hope I see you at the festival later, you need to just chill a little bit. Being so tense can't be good for your complection."

Arata stood up from behind her desk and attempted to spit wash her face. Like ok, eww! And she was a goddamn medic for goodness sake! Why would she even bother with something as unhygienic as spit washing her face? Whatever, just deal with it Sakura.

She just smiled and nodded, just agree with the crazies and they'll leave you alone, that's what her mother had always told her, smart woman. But it was Arata, so what else was new? It was funny though that Arata had taken it upon herself to smother her like Ino did. But now that she was here both Tsunade and Shizune didn't look so much like the walking dead. So she guessed that's why she got away with so much. Just an extension off the weird little dysfunctional family they had all seemed to have built up without realizing it. She knew the elders didn't like her so that was enough reason for her to like Arata, dysfunctional family or not. Those elders were snotty and arrogant, they reminded her of Hinata's dad.

She looked back down the stairs to see Arata drinking a steaming cup of what she assumed to be Jasmine tea. Arata looked up, smiled, and raised her teacup to her, it was the same screaming hot pink color as her stupid glasses. She grinned back, she loved this place. Nothing bad ever happened here, this was safe. Or at least it was neutral. Somebody would have to be seriously whacked in the head to try and attack the _Hokage Tower_, it was the hub of all shinobi activity in all Fire country. Not to mention the fact that it was rigged like a cheap circus attraction.

She followed Tsunade's clicking heels back to her office and stood respectfully in front of her desk. She hadn't thought of any sort of explanation for what had happened that morning, she would just have to wing it and tell the facts and let Shishou help her sort it all out. She did feel better now though, Arata may be crazy but she had this uncanny ability to make you feel like life wasn't so hard. She hoped her tea shop scheme came through, only part time though.

Tsunade settled in her chair, a big plush leather one that seemed to just be there as a perk of the office. There wasn't any doubt that the Hokage deserved it, that job seemed to be shit most of the time. She did have a suspicion that it was a massage chair but she knew better than to say anything about it. By far.

"I'm glad you came in today Sakura, I was just about to send someone out to go get you. As I'm sure you remember the new Kazekage and his siblings are in town for the next couple weeks for the chuunin exams and I need you to do a few more... political things for me."

"What? You never told me about this, yeah I knew the chuunin exams were coming up but... _Argh_! Why doesn't anybody remember to tell me these things?"

Tsunade looked confused and then a little sheepish. She held up the papers she had been holding before, "Looks like I did forget to inform you. Oh well, I'll fill you in now. Our alliance with Wind country and Suna in particular isn't rock solid yet. There is still a lot of distrust between our villages due to Orochimaru and his failed coup. As a gesture of peace I invited the new Kazekage as my personal guest to this year's chuunin exams. It's a stroke of luck that Konoha pulled the winning ticket to host them again this year and I'm not about to pass up an opportunity. It's imperative that the next few weeks go off without a hitch." Tsunade lowered her voice, "If anything happened the consequences could be disastrous and although militarily our village is the stronger of the two I don't want to have to fight Suna along with everyone else. I do _not _need _three _wars right now. Orochimaru and the Akatsuki are bad enough any day of the week."

Tsunade's wry smile was all she needed to know that this was more then just serious business. Sakura glanced down at Tsunade's desk. There wasn't a single bottle or glass of alcohol. Ok make that doubly serious. Her problems could wait for now, this was much more important, whoever this new Kazekage was needed all her attention.

"So here's the deal. I trust you implicitly, I think of you like the daughter I never had, and as a gesture of my sincerity to the new Kazekage not only am I throwing a festival in his honor, I'm offering your services as a personal body guard and a guide. The job is mostly just for appearances, it's the gesture that counts here. However I need you to be on your _best_ behavior. I _need_this to work. If I can assure this alliance we'll have a much better chance of wrapping up other matters that much more quickly. After all if my intel is correct, one of the Akatsuki appears to be a missing nin from Suna. You understand the implications?"

"Yes Shishou. Be polite, play the tour guide, make sure he's comfortable and don't piss him off."

"Good girl. This will be written up as a regular B-rank escort mission but I'll make sure you get A-rank pay. You'll stay with him until the conclusion of the festival and the exams as well as the talks which I'm sure the elders will be pushing us to make. I was planning to have them anyway but if you see them play dumb, I love to annoy them both." She grinned at Sakura. She could totally understand, she didn't interact with the elders much but from the little contact she had had she didn't like them at all. Especially the woman, she'd heard the muttered complaints about her being a "ruffian" and a "hoodlum", ridiculous claims but she supposed to anyone as pampered as the elders she'd always look as if she'd rolled around in the mud. She hated it but she had to admit that some things were almost impossible to change.

"Anyway, he'll be staying in the ambassador's suite here in the tower, the one we recently refurbished, and you'll stay in the room adjacent." She held up a hand, anticipating her before she could object. She sighed and remained quiet. "I know you don't like it but this mission is too important to screw up so you'll just have to deal with it. Anyway I expect you to be polite to his siblings but your main priority is the Kazekage himself. I've arranged for his brother and sister to have rooms directly beneath his own and they will have their own guides so you don't need to worry about them. Do you have any questions?"

Tsunade had been writing the whole time she had been discussing the mission and now held up a scroll with a fresh seal on it and she blew on the green wax that marked it as a B-rank mission a bit before handing it to her.

Sakura broke the seal and glanced over it, it was pretty much exactly as Shishou had said it would be just in official terminology and not nearly as blunt as she had put it. Nothing like flowery language and elegant script to make a mission more official.

She smiled and slipped the scroll into a pocket on her medic skirt, the only thing that ruined the mood was her stomach growling. She sighed, so much for.. Well it looked like brunch now. Or it would have been.

"Did you not eat?" Tsunade grinned at her and pulled a muffin out of her desk drawer, "I didn't either, we'll split this and you can ask all the questions I know _you _have."

She smiled and gratefully took her half, it was blueberry. Thank god for Shishou! "Will I still be doing my shifts at the hospital during the Kazekage's stay?"

Tsunade frowned, "If time allows I'd like you to still be prepared to be on call but don't expect it. If there are emergencies though we'll just have to hope the Kazekage understands."

Tsunade tapped her fingertips together a few times, Sakura had catalogued the gesture into annoyed/frustrated/worried. The real question was which of the three it was at any given time.

"Sakura, I know I'm asking a lot of you, but be careful. If anything happened to you I probably wouldn't care about causing an international incident. It wouldn't be prudent of me to reveal too much of the current situation but I'll let you know this much. The new Kazekage was chosen out of necessity, it was not something that he aspired to be nor was his situation like my own. I don't know everything about his history but I have heard things, things that worry me. However I know from personal experience that a history like his is not something that disappears over night. I have no idea what to expect from him so becareful, be so, so careful Sakura."

The look on Tsunade's face was excruciating. She had heard little half details from Shizune about Shishou's family and all the losses she had lived through and it made her heart break. That she would care for her after so much heartache meant a lot, she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this new family of hers. But she needn't have wasted her breath, she had no intentions of dying anytime soon.

"Will I be paying for things out of my own pocket?"

"No, there is some money laid aside for all reasonable expenses of this mission." Tsunadefrowned at her again,and shook a finger at her, "And that means things for the Kazekage, not you."

Sakura laughed, it was one of the jokes they shared. Another one of the things that bugged the elders to no end. "Alright, then I guess the only question I have is when I get to meet him."

"Right now as a matter of fact," Tsunade brushed her hands together and then shouted out, "Shizune! Let them in now."

The door opened and Sakura didn't know whether she should laugh or cry. Why didn't anybody bother to _tell _her these things?

Into Tsunade's office walked Gaara, flanked by Kankuro and Temari.

Gaara looked in her direction and his gaze seemed to pass through her and out the window, but she saw the spark in his eyes. It wasn't a friendly spark either. It was a keen appraisal and it made her feel like a slab of meat being weighed on a butcher block.

She now fervently wished she had talked to Tsunade about her morning but it was too late and she couldn't very well bring it up now. Besides how could anyone expect Tsunade to know what had happened in the woods that day? Technically nobody knew. Officially Team 7 had apprehended and engaged the enemy during Sound's coup against Leaf and the targets had eluded them, unofficially it was just more that Team 7 never talked about. With a sinking feeling she realized it was too late, she had accepted the scroll and everything. But who would have thought that _Gaara,_ of _all people _would be made Kazekage? Who in their right mind thought _that _brilliant plan up?

She _really_ hated Inner about now for being right, only this time if she screwed up there could be a war. Talk about pressure.

The only things she did know for sure from all this was that Gaara was a conniving bastard and that she was an idiot. But she'd be damned before she admitted it to anybody.

She felt like she was about to choke, or scream, or cry, or maybe all three at the same time.

It was official. This was a _very_ bad day.


	3. Mars Ascendant

Bet you thought I was dead. :)

* * *

All of a sudden the air felt very stuffy and she wished very much that she had the nerve to walk to the window and at least crack it. However like the prey she felt like at the moment she didn't want to turn her back on the big scary predator. Even if that predator had the most charming smile on his face at the moment and everyone else seemed to be perfectly relaxed. At that moment she resolved to make sure she remained in the loop til the end of time. She wasn't sure how many more surprises she could handle, especially at the rate they were happening today. Something was different about him though, he still scared the crap out of her, he was still dangerous, of that she had no doubt but it seemed more contained, like his mind wasn't as out of control as during their first chuunin exams. Had something changed? Even his brother and sister seemed more at ease around him then they had before, and they had been terrified of him.

"Kazekage, it is a pleasure to welcome you and your companions to Konaha," Tsunade stood and bowed politely, but not especially deeply, a subtle power play to show that she was the more powerful of the two. Politics had never been something she had liked but there were so many things that had to be said and no strictly polite way to say them. It was all a game really. "I offer you a suite in the Tower here and the personal services of my apprentice, Sakura as a guide and escort during the festivities and the exams. Is this arrangement pleasing to you?"

Gaara seemed to give her a once over and she was barely able to keep herself from shuddering, he had this way of looking at her as if he knew she felt cornered... Which he probably did. A second, brief, glance in his direction showed a perfectly calm, disturbingly impassive mask in place. He was good. Well duh! He would have to be to be made Kazekage. Kazekage! _Gaara_ was the Kazekage. She could barely wrap her mind around it. Not too long ago he'd been a blood thirsty killer, stalking his prey in the night and now he was the highest ranked ninja of his village, a highly regarded diplomat. She just wanted to sit down and bang her head against the wall for a few hours until everything made sense again; there was supposed to be order in this world, logic!

"Thank you for your consideration. If it is not an imposition I would like to be shown to my rooms. It has been a long journey and I am tired."

Tsunade studied Sakura's face for a moment, she thought she could see the outline of concern in the corners of her mouth but it disappeared so quickly she could have been mistaken. She couldn't sense any disturbances in anyone's chakra but her own, but then again everyone in this room was an elite ninja and not likely to reveal anything outside of combat situations. She turned back to Gaara and nodded, "Of course, dinner will be served in the banquet hall on the first floor at six. Sakura will escort you at the proper time and should you need anything for the duration of your stay she will be in the rooms adjacent to yours."

He had the nerve to grin! Not only was he speaking politician's lingo he had the audacity to smile at her misery. Who knew how long he was going to be here! She knew the elders, they would talk everything to death, anything they could think to use as an advantage in this new alliance they would absolutely talk. To. Death! She took a deep breath. She was going to keep it together and be that calm, collected person she needed to be to pacify a former, if not still current, psychopath in a position of high authority. She had this, how hard could that be? She almost let out a hysterical laugh. Now, even more than before, she had to fill those chinks in her armor and not show any weakness. For the unforeseeable future she was going to be living next to one of her worst nightmares. Heck, if she remembered right that "newly refurbished" room had a door straight into the room where she was supposed to stay, it was very possible that she'd wake up to find him drooling over her. Ugh, she was going to have nightmares for a while.

She took a deep breath, it was going to be alright, hadn't she_ just_ told herself that the Hokage Tower was the most secure building in the village, possibly in the entire Fire country? If Gaara did anything to her he wouldn't be able to take two steps without Tsunade and every ninja in the buildings taking him down. It was a reassuring thought and with a more positive outlook on things, like mangled Sand ninjas in the hallway, she graciously gestured him to leave in front of her. He grinned toothily at her. She gulped. She was safe, she was safe, she was safe.

~O~

Getting Gaara moved in was more of an ordeal than she thought it would be. Who knew that a teenage boy would have so much crap! There were trunks of clothes, cases of weapons, boxes of books. Another thing she hadn't expected, somehow in her head blood thirsty killers weren't supposed to be literate. By the time she was done lugging everything up the stairs, because it was someone's genius idea to put them on the ninth floor and because it was Gaara's new pastime to make her suffer, she was exhausted and despaired that she had to do the same thing with her own belongings today as well. Damn that "effective immediately" at the bottom of her mission statement!

Eventually, when she had everything set up _just so_, and Gaara was in the shower or napping or whatever murderers did before dinner she ran down the road to her tiny rabbit hutch apartment and looked around. Her whole life was in these two tiny rooms, how was she supposed to pack up and leave in two hours? She packed her pictures first. A photo of her mom before she was killed in the line of duty, her Team 7 photo before everything went so wrong, a picture of her and Tsunade after she was accepted as apprentice, photos of her friends goofing around. To her these happy memories were the most important. You could buy a new shirt, replace a piece of furniture but if she forgot these memories what would that mean she had become?

She tossed her uniforms into a box, some dishware, some weapons, basically a little bit of everything and then she would lock the place down. She could always come back if she forgot something. That is if Gaara would let her out of his sight. She had a feeling that would be a hard thing to accomplish, somehow she had managed to attract his seemingly undivided attention. She couldn't run screaming into the hills either because _stupid politics. _That's why.

At least most of the time when she was with him they'd be in public. For instance this dinner tonight would have all the jounins not out on missions, the elders, the advisors, possibly even the Daimyo himself and his retinue. The festival would be crawling with people as well, it was not often that there was a celebration of this scale in a shinobi village, too many opportunities for threats to enter the village. In fact, anytime there was a festival most everybody with shinobi training was put on guard duty, it was very rare for anybody but academy students to enjoy a festival. So really, if she was the best damn tour guide Konoha had ever seen the only times she'd be alone with him were when they were about to go to bed, because wouldn't everyone be trying to get a slice of that Gaara pie and better their political advantage? They better be! She was not going to be alone with him any more than necessary. Briefly she wondered who had been assigned to Kankuro and Temari, if she was right probably with the members of Team 10, maybe Team 8. They had the most interactions among anybody in the village that she knew about. If the gossip was right Temari had a thing for Shikamaru, maybe she would even catch something happening! Wouldn't Ino be jealous if that happened! If she could ignore the fact that she had to tote a person like Gaara all over the village like a toddler, she was smack dab in the middle of every important thing happening for possibly the next full month. That wasn't so bad, she would be so popular if she got any time to herself in the next couple weeks.

With the aid of a wagon stolen out of the yard area in front of her apartment building she made it back to the Hokage Tower in time to see Gaara coming out of his bathroom in a towel. She smiled politely and walked into her room with one of her boxes and began... She froze. Gaara... in a towel? Her mind began jabbering at her that something was _not right_.

She turned around to find him gazing at her with his arms crossed over his chest. She knew, she just _knew_, this was going to happen. A door between their rooms? Was this some kind of damn hotel?! Though... He did have a nicely shaped chest, he was pale but didn't look as sickly as she had remembered... And _what_ was she _thinking?!_

She gulped, this was not going well, and right from the start too, "Did you open this door?"

He smiled, one of the large, toothy grins she was beginning to associate with his pleasure in provoking her, "What of it?"

Ok, diplomatic mission with high stakes or no, she was putting down some ground rules. "You might be the Kazekage and all, but there are limits! I don't want to see all... that."

He took a step forward and stared at her with those intense browless eyes, the kanji on his forehead mocking, "All that? I had merely wondered where you had gone, guide."

"I was getting my stuff, since I'm living here now. It's not like I enjoy this you know."

"I do." He turned and shut the door behind him. He did what? Know she didn't enjoy this, or that he was the one enjoying this? He was infuriating! He wasn't acting like a monster, he was acting like a cat with a new toy. She was _not_ a toy.

This was a game to him wasn't it? He might not, hopefully wouldn't, kill her, but she didn't know that for sure and he was playing on that anxiety to entertain himself! He was here on business, but taunting her with her inability to _do_ anything was the main attraction.

She spent the next two hours angrily putting all her things away in her new room. Welcome to the lap of luxury, Sakura.

~O~

The room was, sadly, larger than her whole apartment put together. There was a separate smaller room with a bed and adjoining bathroom and the rest of the space was devoted to a living/dining room and a kitchen. It was done up in cream and yellow and the couches were sinfully comfortable the windows looking out on Konohagakure in all it's glory. She scattered her photographs across the wall and the few nicknacks she had picked up on missions found new homes on the tables against the walls. Her few kitchen items went into the drawers, her textbooks, scrolls and novels went on the shelves and her favorite blanket went on the bed. It wasn't much but it already looked and felt much more like home.

By the time she was finished she had only enough time to wash her hair and throw on her uniform. She was brushing her hair when a note was shoved under her door. Confused that nobody would just knock on the door and tell her what was going on she read it: "Sakura, I know what you're planning on wearing and normally I wouldn't mind, however as an official under the Hokage and escort to the Kazekage something a bit more refined is required tonight. I had so much fun picking these out for you, accessories are already in a box under your bed. Enjoy! Love, Tsunade."

Her stomach sank, there was only one thing she could think of that required a box of accessories to be under her bed when she was off to a dinner party: dresses.

She opened the door and sure enough there were three dress bags on a rack. Now it wasn't that she didn't enjoy wearing dresses and doing girly things like dressing up and playing the refined lady. It had been one of her favorite pastimes as a girl and currently her guilty pleasure came in the form of a box of fashion magazines in the cabinet of her bathroom. However she had her reservations tonight. She was supposed to play body guard and even if the chances of her acting in that capacity tonight were slim to none the last couple years had taught her that the unexpected like to creep up behind you and stab you in the back with a kunai. Not only that but it was Gaara, _Gaara_, she was escorting. Not only would see her in a dress, he may be the biggest threat in the first place; dresses did not have a history of being easily fought in. If these dresses couldn't function how she would need them to in a worse case scenario then it would just be too bad Tsunade.

She prayed they'd be too ridiculous to wear. She didn't know how he'd react to seeing her out of her normal clothes and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out. She laid the clothing bags out on her bed and opened them. Shit! They were all beautiful and not only that were designed to fool the average party goer. Every dress was sewn in such a way that her legs wouldn't be inhibited, there were unobtrusive pockets for weapons all over each one of them. She shouldn't have doubted her teacher... She was thoroughly screwed.

~O~

Ten minutes later she stepped out of her door wearing the least flamboyant of the dresses but she still felt conspicuous. The dress was a bright shade of turquoise and was made out of some shiny, slick material, there were gathers in the back making a kind of ruffly train from her hips all the way down almost to her ankles. It was cleverly designed to look like one piece but in reality the skirt could be ripped off and underneath she was wearing a short body suit much like the green monstrosity Lee insisted on wearing. The ruffles also served to hide the kunai and shuriken strapped to her thighs, various tags were layered in the belt that disguised the skirt that wasn't. Even her jewelry could be used as weapons like the sticks holding her hair back from her face that were really throwing needles or the rhinestones along her collar that were really smoke bombs. In her clutch were several vials of poison, just in case.

Most of the "accessories" in the box had been these weapons. Any average person who looked at her would see a moderately attractive girl dressed to the nines, but in reality she was ready to go to war if she had to. Checking her face one last time before shutting the door behind her she steeled herself for the night ahead and knocked on Gaara's door.

What came out was not what she was expecting. He was wearing the Kazekage regalia, but not like the normal day to day robe that Tsunade detested wearing unless she absolutely had to. His kimono was done up in the blue and gold colors of Wind country, representing the wind and sand, and gliding through the layers of cobalt blue were brilliant golden firebirds. She had not expected him to look... so _good, _like an adult. She had expected a baggy white robe with one of those goofy hats, she was getting real tired of being surprised today. He had definitely filled out a bit since the... incident out in the woods the last time the chuunin exams had been held. He still wasn't very tall but it was obvious to her that he was slightly taller than she was. A very intimidating inch or two taller than she was.

"Um..."

Smooth move Sakura, shinobi aren't supposed to be caught off guard! Or at least not let on that they were. Or be stunned by moderately attractive men. Sheesh!

He looked her over carefully, eyes pausing where she had stashed weapons in her dress, were they showing? How did he know exactly where they were? He nodded, if it was approval she couldn't read it in his face but like a gentleman he held his arm out to her. She was too flabbergasted to do anything but take it. He was a bit stiff but she wasn't entirely surprised, what surprised her was that he offered physical contact at all.

She studied what she could of him without actually asking him any questions. His outfit was perfect, as was his bearing, his stride was confident and purposeful. She couldn't sense any emotion from him. She couldn't even smell that pervasive old blood smell on him like the last time. Even his sand had reeked of it but tonight she couldn't smell it. She didn't have the best nose but she had recognized it the last time for what it was: the smell of death and decay. Tonight he smelled faintly of some musky soap and fresh linen and silk

Gaara was unpredictable, that was why he was such a threat, that was why his own father had tried to have him killed so many times. She had done a bit of research after the incident and had learned more of his cruel life than she had cared to. She didn't want to feel pity for somebody she'd rather see dead than alive. She paused, is that really how she felt? ...No, she didn't want to care, but she genuinely didn't want him dead either. She didn't want anybody to die except possibly Orochimaru, but that was ok. He was insane _and_ _evil,_ while Gaara had just been insane with the occasional homicidal rampage due to neglect and abuse, it was different, but now he seemed almost tame.

She felt something slither up her leg. Nope, not tame, definitely not tame.

"Get that _off_ of me," she hissed, clenching his arm.

He glanced down at her and back to the hallway ahead of them, "It's a safety precaution."

"No, it isn't, get it off _now!_"

"I can trace you through the sand if we're separated. I have some on my siblings now as well. Usually nobody feels it, you must be very attuned to your body."

She blushed, was that a compliment or was he really saying that he just wanted to keep tabs on her in case she betrayed him? She looked down at her freshly painted toenails, she was so confused. Earlier this day he had assaulted her and now he was being perfectly civilized. He wasn't following the rules!

"I'm supposed to be the one protecting you."

He was silent for a moment, "I never rely on others when I am better off taking care of myself. I have no way of knowing where your true loyalties lie, I am in an unfamiliar place. We all know you are here for appearances only and that we have... history. If you fail and something happens to me there will be consequences for your village throughout the shinobi world because of your treachery. If I fail and something happens to you there will be consequences for my village for my hostility. I am not so foolish as to believe Suna would have a chance against a full frontal assault from Konoha."

She hadn't thought of it that way. It was like watching ripples on a pond. One action had the ability to send out waves of change, sometimes events you wouldn't even think possible. Suna might have a better chance then Gaara thought though. Even if he didn't have the military might at his disposal to equal Konoha's he had the whole desert to do the job for him anyway. She chose not to share that thought.

"I didn't think you cared about anybody, not even yourself."

"My... goals have changed over time."

Sakura gripped his arm, anger rising, "Goals? You have killed gods only know how many people and you say that was a part of your _goals_?"

He snarled, "My past is not such a straight forward subject that you can judge me so easily, _kunoichi_. We are both in the business of dealing death are we not?"

It was true, she may not have directly dealt a killing blow but she had fought towards that end countless times now, "I never enjoyed it."

"Liar. Humanity is consummate rage. You are deluded if you don't admit that there is exhilaration in the hunt or triumph in the kill, in your own prowess."

Humanity as rage, it was an interesting way to think about it and surviving an encounter did always left her feeling giddy it was true but still she couldn't let him win this conversation. Humanity was so much more than that.

"Some would say passion, not rage."

"People have been killing each other since the beginning of time, how is that not rage?"

"If all we were was rage how could we create art or music or even language? If all we were full of was rage we wouldn't be any different than rabid dogs."

His eyes became fierce, "Diversions, bargaining chips. There are the weak and there are the strong. The strong decide the code of living for the weak. The strong have the power in this world."

"Naruto isn't like that!"

He sneered at her, "Isn't he?"

Naruto? Powerful? He was, he was powerful but he was also kind. Would that kindness have affected anyone had he been weak? Would it have still been viewed as kindness or as ingratiating himself? Looking at Gaara she wasn't so sure.

"Is it only kindness if you are powerful enough not to need that treatment yourself?"

"I think that when you are strong what you choose to do with your strength is beyond the weak's judgment."

"Why?"

His eyes bored into her own, "Because if you are weak you cannot effect change. Circumstances are "unfair" only to those who lack the strength to change them."

She wasn't entirely comfortable with this eloquence and looked at him to try and find a suitable way to change the subject, "You aren't taking your gourd tonight?"

He made no comment on her obvious change of subject, the only indication he noticed at all was the smug look on his face, as if he had won some victory, "It's too cumbersome in tight areas and people would be suspicious if I brought my weapon so openly like that."

"So you brought it secretly?" She looked him over, there was no way he could be carrying sand in an outfit that tight.

He looked at her steadily, "I've hidden piles of it throughout the building. I can easily make more by crushing the walls if I have to."

"Oh." She suddenly felt sorry for whoever cleaned this building at night, especially if there ended up being holes in it, "Shishou said you did not want to be Kazekage, why did you agree to it?"

"It was a challenge, and it amused me to see them so desperate as to appoint me."

That was the kind of answer she would expect to hear, it was nice to be right for once, "You're pretty young for a Kage though. You're really the strongest in your village?"

"It is a small village."

Ooookay. She wasn't too worried about making any more small talk, the banquet hall was down this last hallway anyway. There would be too much political fanfare and delicious food to eat to feel obligated to occupy his mind any more than she already had.

~O~

The banquet hall was to the back of the first floor. The Tower itself was larger at the base than the top, each level designated to a more important position than the last. For instance the Hokage's offices were in the smallest, uppermost level with only the mews above them. The stairwell wrapped around the central foundation of the Tower and rooms spiraled out from the staircase to the outer walls. Most of the halls and rooms as well as the stairs were floored with wood while some others were carpeted or tiled. The walls on the upper levels were mostly unadorned while the levels closer to the grand were more and more grandiose. The banquet hall had some of the best trimmings in the entire Tower.

The doors were a burnished gold color surrounded by deeply gleaming wood and bright hanging light fixtures covered in crystal. The Fire country's flame was flanked by two Konoha leaves above the double doors. The hallway in front of these doors was much wider then the other halls in the building and made a straight, mostly unobstructed, line to the front of the building. If your eyes were good enough you could see all the way down to the main entrance and the receptionist's desk. The area was totally packed with people. Shinobi disguised as servers wandered about the space offering drinks to the people waiting to enter the banquet hall, they were easily recognized by their posture if not by their faces, always slightly tense and always attentive. There were more people in that space than she thought could fit.

The servers wore somber blue outfits, the only accent the Konoha leaf emblazoned on their torsos and backs in bright red, everyone else was dressed in all their finery. A myriad of colors stung her retinas. She could feel Gaara stiffen a bit more under her hand, she could only imagine how a crowd this large would play on his already thin nerves and paranoia. Looking at his face only confirmed her suspicions, his eyes were nearly slits and his body was extremely tense, maybe he really wasn't as together as he had seemed at their meeting earlier that afternoon with the Hokage, then again that had only been six people whereas now she didn't even know. More than she had expected, Tsunade was really pulling out all the stops this time. This dinner was going to be extravagant, she expected it was another political move: "look how wealthy and powerful our ninja village is, look at our prosperity, ally with us, we get shit done". She was fairly certain at least part of it was for show, they had lost a lot of manpower fighting Orochimaru. Akatsuki hadn't taken too big a toll yet but it was only a matter of time, she had hear the rumors.

This event was more than forging a more solid alliance with Suna, this was also about consolidating power and proving to the other hidden villages that they were still strong and shouldn't be trifled with. Take Iwa for instance, they had a reputation for aggression and were known to attack any village they viewed as weak and vulnerable. Tsunade was right, they couldn't afford any more battles, it was imperative they kept their enemy list to a minimum. Thus the fancy dinner and all the fancy suites and all the fancy attractions.

With a start she realized she'd been standing there ignoring Gaara and looking up saw him staring back at her with an inscrutable expression on his face, "It's unwise to forget your surroundings, even at home you may become a target."

She knew that! She was intimately experienced with battles on home turf. She hated how easily he caught her unawares and criticized her. She took a deep breath but was cut off before she could form a retort.

"Little brother, I'm loving this, are you? Real first class experience. I took a two hour bath, I still can't believe how much water they just use every day here!" A blond girl bounded up to them positively beaming, her voice seemed too deep for her face, but she knew better. This was a powerful kunoichi. Her hair was gathered into four pony tails, the lower two of which brushed against the high neckline of her dark blue dress, there were little silver fishes swimming through it and in her hand was a small silver fan. Knowing Temari she wasn't sure she should be allowed any fans but in her capacity as Gaara's escort she was even less sure she should mention it at all. It wasn't like she was free of weapons herself.

A taller boy followed more slowly in his wake. He looked unhappy to be there, or perhaps just more uncomfortable with what he was wearing, she could relate. Kankuro's face paint was still in place but it was toned down and his one piece suit was missing and in it's place a pair of black pants and a black jacket. His hair was scruffy and he ran a hand through it in apparent irritation making it look even scruffier, "These official functions are always so annoying."

"It is troublesome." She had been right, Shikamaru with Temari, this may not be totally abysmal after all. Following a bit more timidly in his wake was Hinata. Thus resolved the mystery of the escorts. Hopefully their respective teams wouldn't miss out on too many missions though that wasn't too likely considering the chuunin exams were coming up. She did find it interesting however that both the escorts chosen were both part of prominent clans in the village, perhaps that was why they were chosen. The class elite, how delightful.

"May I have your attention please." Tsunade had come to the front of the proceedings and stood in front of the door, "Tonight is a night of celebration. Tonight we welcome the new Kazekage among us as well as to acknowledge the accomplishments of our genin as they battle for the right to become chuunin. However for tonight let us put thoughts of politics behind us and come together as a united people to enjoy good food and better company."

With a graceful flourish she bowed and then threw open the doors behind her. She almost gasped, Shishou really had gone the extra mile. Everything was beautiful. Long tables covered with every food you could think of lined the walls, on a stage a band was playing elegant music, the lights were brightly illuminating all the gold and red accents of the enormous room. The only wall that looked outside, with windows that reached practically to the ceiling, looked out on all the trees in the courtyard done up with paper lanterns in every color. Everything was beautiful. Her teacher knew how to throw a party.

With a huge grin Tsunade said, "Let the festivities begin!"

~O~

This night had been surreal, like something out of a story book. Everyone was charming, there was even dancing. The sounds of laughter and conversation positively thrummed throughout the cavernous banquet hall. All the Kages and their attendants were seated at one long table near the windows and the food, she sat between Tsunade and Gaara and had a hard time finding anything interesting to say between long bouts of just taking everything to see in. This was daydream material and she wanted to remember every moment, she had never experienced anything quite like this. She wouldn't mind Tsunade trying to impress anyone in the future if they were all going to culminate in parties like this one.

She was not alone in the lack of conversation department, both Gaara and Kankuro had distinctly unhappy looks on their faces and devoted all their attention to the food on their plates, Shikamaru was talking quietly to Hinata who looked like she might just melt into the ground at any moment. Most of the other Kages at the table were too far to talk with conveniently and only Temari and Tsunade were having the only animated conversation about views on kunoichi in society on their side of the table, she hadn't pegged either one of them as a feminist type, it was actually interesting to listen to but she had a job to do. It wouldn't look good for Gaara to seem unhappy when this party was being thrown mostly in his honor. She contemplated kicking Shikamaru under the table but it would be awkward if he said anything about it, it was up to her to make things lively.

She decided to try and be playful and see how far that took her, "You were saying before that only the strong can make the rules, how is Konoha doing so far?"

He looked around the room examining everything closely, it was a lot to look at, "I think Konoha is going to a lot of trouble to prove that nothing bad is going on when even a child could tell you about the attacks and devastation of the last chuunin exams."

She very graciously didn't point out the part he played in that fiasco.

"If we couldn't afford it, the Hokage wouldn't approve of the expense."

"I think you're being naive, if the Hokage can convince potential costumers that this village had the best chance of fulfilling their missions then she'll make the money back three times over. What this is is a gamble, a risky one at that."

She swallowed, she knew how well Tsunade could gamble and that was generally not well at all. Damn him for being so intuitive, "That's the way this sort of thing goes. What's important is keeping your special people safe and protecting the innocent."

He smirked at her, "It's important to be strong, but in this world you can buy other's strength with enough money. If the Hokage can't back up her big talk Konohagakure will be in worse trouble than it is right now. You've heard of Whirlpool correct? I have a feeling that future may become yours."

She clenched her fist and nearly took his head off, he really knew how to push all her buttons. He simultaneously told her their village was collectively stupid, weak and poor. What a jerk!

"We're more than just talk, we stand by each other no matter what! That's what counts, loyalty and honor are our shinobi code."

He smiled, "I know, your village has a reputation for compassion. It seems to be the source of many hardships but I know your people, you wouldn't have it any other way."

She couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, should she feel flattered or offended?

An explosive sound across the room distracted her for a moment. Screams echoed out and people began running for the doors fixed her attention in place. Smoke filled the room and she had a kunai in her hand before she could blink again.

How was this possible? There were so many elite ninja here who in their right minds would want to attack this gathering? Gaara took her by the shoulder and placed her beside him, sand beginning to whirl around his ankles in an angry cloud. His eyes were feral and she could feel his sand sliding up her legs as well. On her arm she noticed five grains of sand stuck despite trying to wipe them away, they were reassuring for some reason. Gaara was unbreakable and he had taken personal responsibility for her safety. With a grim smile she was determined to return the same in kind and tore the skirt from her legs taking up a more defensible stance.

The smoke swirled into a perfect sphere in the center of the room as people pounded ineffectively against doors sealed from the outside. She turned around but could already sense some kind of barrier erected outside the room. Whatever was about to happen was going to happen to all the most important shinobi in the world. Wasn't that a scary thought?

A figure appeared in the sphere. His clothing was nondescript and seemed to blend in with the smoke, the figure's face was completely covered in a mask, not even his hair showed beneath the low hanging hood. The mask was white and on the forehead was a red sun with it's beams extending through the eye holes, down the nose and all the way to the edges of the mask.

The figure waited til the screams subsided and futile attempts to break through the barrier ceased. After a while the figure straightened and seemed to look about the room.

"Quite an audience I have here tonight, I am glad, I do not like repeating myself. Tonight is the beginning of a new era, one in which shinobi are no longer needed. As I'm sure you can guess that means that your "villages" need to be destroyed to make way for a new future. This peace you proclaim to uphold is a lie, if there was peace there would not be armies, there would not be children trained to kill from the time they could first walk, there would not be ravaged countries clinging to the heels of the five "great" nations desperate for any scrap of stability. The order of the New Dawn repudiates you. You have been warned."

In the next instant the smoke was gone, she could feel the chakra holding the barrier dispersing and in a matter of minutes anybody not shinobi had fled. The Kages glared at one another and she could hear Tsunade swear under her breath, "Shit."


	4. Dionysus Halted

She couldn't get over what had happened last night, all of Shishou's fears had come to pass in a matter of a few hours. The night had promised to be so beautiful and in the end she hadn't really been able to prevent anything. On the bright side she had gotten dinner before the masked terror had left his cryptic message and everyone left amid pandemonium not to mention there were no casualties. The only people who had been hurt were the ones stomping on each other trying to flee. The New Dawn spokesman's approach had been rather clever now that she thought of it: he hadn't revealed his identity but he had shown his power, he broke into an event personally hosted by the Hokage and attended by most of the more powerful Kages on the continent and then to top it off had held them all in the room against their will. Though she was sure had the message gone on long enough somebody would have found a way through the barrier but he was quick, no monologuing for this villain, oh no, he was playing it smart. Which led her to believe that the culprit had shinobi training even if he no longer considered himself to be one.

Gaara hadn't been too happy though, she could tell because there was absolutely no emotion on his face, just this intense frigidness in his eyes. Sometimes he showed emotion but more often he didn't and that was when he when he tended to be truly terrifying. Without any tells how could she know if he planned to attack or not? Or who he would attack or what he was even thinking?

After the Kages resolved to hold a council in the morning Gaara had not said one word to her before leaving for his rooms. She had had to jog to catch up with him! She was sure she had looked very undignified, she hoped she hadn't embarrassed Tsunade though she probably had bigger fish to fry than an embarrassed, seething Sakura.

She sighed into her elbow while flicking a pencil up and down the clipboard propped up against her desk, paperwork long forgotten. Why couldn't anything be simple? Why couldn't they just have the exams and the festival go off without a hitch? Why couldn't villains just take a break every now and then and eat some dango instead of making everyone's lives miserable? She flicked the pencil particularly hard and it smacked the wall before being lost forever beneath the desk.

"Hard day sugar? Here, have some tea. Tarou, fetch the tea tray, it's time for a break!"

Sakura jumped at the unexpected intrusion into her melancholy and turned to stare into Arata's unholy pink framed eyes. Every time she had convinced herself that Arata was all that she claimed to be, some of which was still eccentric and potentially scary weird, she did something like sneak up on her wholly unnoticed. That woman was hiding something and she got the feeling find out what it was before long.

"Lady Arata it is beneath my dignity to fetch your... tea things. I am a warrior and you need to start treating me as such."

Sakura stared at this new development as if she was looking at Ino as she actually turned into a pig. Standing behind Arata at a respectful distance and full of poise and grace, looking for all the world like a man at arms guarding his princess, was a porcupine. Not only that but this porcupine was wearing armor and looked like a little, even though little was a relative word when talking about summons wasn't it, spiky samurai warrior. Instead of a helmet though it had a bright blue scarf tied around it's forehead.

"Arata."

"Yes?"

"Why did you never tell me you had a summons. I was under the impression that you were a civilian secretary, key emphasis on the _civilian_ part."

"Yes, well, it was more convenient to lie and I really thought you'd catch on sooner considering all the times I've snuck up scared the living shit out of you without you even noticing." Sometimes when Arata smiled like that she just wanted to punch her in the face.

The porcupine, Tarou she supposed, seemed to nod knowingly at her. She was commiserating with a damn porcupine for crying out loud!

"This has been a really long week, you know?"

"All in a day's work in the life of a shinobi Sakura. Stop moping and feeling sorry for yourself. You can be such a twit sometimes."

Sakura felt her face flush, "Well pardon me for stressing out over this New Dawn shit, and escorting that psychopath around and worrying about Shishou and... and... sorry."

Arata came around the desk and sat on the edge of it to pat her back, "Look, you're still just a kid and this is a crazy world. I get that, but that's just the way it is, you have got to learn to roll with the punches. You've got friends girl, and if that cute," Arata nudged her with a wink and she let out an offended gasp, "Kazekage was really such a psychopath you'd think somebody would already be dead by now. International incidences being so hard to ignore and all that."

She did have a point. The Gaara of a few years ago had turned people to blood paste just for confronting him on his way to his match. This Gaara hadn't threatened anybody that she knew about, even when he had cornered her on the street the other day he hadn't threatened her life at all. He had just asked an uncomfortable question in an aggressive way that she hadn't been mentally prepared for. That wasn't a crime even though she had felt violated. The shinobi moral code, they were more like ambiguous guidelines anyway. Be the sneakiest or the most powerful and you could do whatever you wanted.

Man, she could explain away anything if she wanted to. She laughed, "Alright, alright. I'll stop moping... You said something about tea?"

Simultaneously she and Arata turned to the poor hapless porcupine and with a long suffering sigh he said, "Fine, I'll bring you both tea."

They pretended not to hear him when he grumbled under his breath, "I am a respected warrior, I am not some butler. Arata is lucky that I'm such a gentleman." he sniffed.

As soon as the porcupine had poofed to whatever dimension he deemed fit to fetch tea from they both looked at each other and laughed hysterically. It was just what she needed to lift her mood.

~O~

She couldn't for the life of her find where Gaara was. She had been wandering around the Hokage Tower and the surrounding gardens for almost an hour looking for him. At this point she was sorely tempted to throw in the towel and head to the hospital or a training ground or heck, even just go get a coffee, but she had a job to do. She'd give it another hour and if she still couldn't find him she'd just assume he wanted some alone time and leave him to it. It was such a nice day though, it would be a shame if he didn't get out and see something at least.

Her steps halted as a wave of confusion swept over her again. She was doing what Arata said not to do, namely dwell on things out of her control and let her conflicted emotions control _her_. She took a deep breath. Yeah, Gaara had terrified her in the past but it seemed like he had changed, it would be wrong of her to hold a grudge especially considering his extenuating circumstances. Now it seemed like he was trying to tease her and mess with her head rather than trying to kill her. In the past he hadn't messed around, he'd just attacked, and he hadn't attacked her this time, well not in the conventional sense. He hadn't even broken through skin the other day on the street. He had more control, maybe when he lashed out it was because his inner turmoil hadn't been totally resolved and could she really blame him? He was damaged goods and she could relate.

Gaara was complicated and she didn't know the whole story. Suna may have been desperate to make him the Kage but that didn't discount his skills. He had to be strong and brave to be able to hold the village together. Strong and brave equated promising human being material. All she had to do was reach down deep, grab it and yank it out Leaf style.

…

Or she could just do her job and stop freaking trying to fix people! She ran her hand through her hair, if only she could be so gung ho about fixing her own life up without plunging head first into someone else's trauma. No wonder Sasuke had thought she was annoying. Everyone she knew wanted to be total nut jobs. She should just mind her own business and let them be crazy. What was with ninjas just being crazy?

The street fair should be open by now. She decided to give up on finding Gaara and instead spend her time more meaningfully by eating fried foods on sticks. Fried food on sticks didn't judge you or think you were weak; they were just delicious. That sounded like a great way to spend the rest of her day. Too bad Naruto was out in the woods training like some hermit, he loved crap like this. She resolved to eat a massive bowl of ramen in his honor. But first things first, she had to put on something better to wear than her "honorable Kazekage guide uniform" or as she like to call it the "hokazgrm"... She would have to work on that, it needed vowels.

She turned her steps towards the Hokage tower, she had bought the cutest little yukata a while ago and it would be perfect for tonight. Ino wouldn't be the only cute one at the festival. She smiled, she was so glad they were close again. It was a shame they had lost so much time being rivals over an idiot who didn't care about them or girls in general in the slightest. They really were a lot alike. They were both opinionated, competitive, intelligent women. They had some of the best fights. For instance any time there was a celebration or a holiday it was a contest to see who could dress up and look the best, whoever got the most men to drool won. Of course they exaggerated and it usually ended in a sparring match to decide the winner but it was a lot of fun all the same.

She enjoyed just walking through the village; Konoha was set up as a series of concentric circles. Not only was it tactically sound as people unfamiliar with the village would become lost easier it represented the constant cycles of life. Konoha was a very spiritual village. It also contained more greenery and aesthetically pleasing architecture than many other villages that focused primarily on military might than spiritual advancement. Konoha was a weird place but she loved it, it was her home.

However she did have a few short cuts through people's backyards because it could take forever to get anywhere if you only followed the roads. As she walked by the courtyard in back of the Hokage Tower she sensed Gaara high up in one of the trees staring out over the village. He was in a particularly tall tree, the view was probably pretty amazing. Despite being an oasis in the woods Konoha was actually on fairly high ground. The Hokage monument was carved into a mountain top as testament to this. From a high place like that tree Gaara could probably see the forest for miles until it finally faded out into the more swamp-like lowlands.

Disappearing for hours like this seemed to be a habit with him, she didn't know what he really did up there, but he didn't seem like the kind of person to meditate. She almost walked by to go and change her clothes, ignoring him completely but something pulled her towards him. She was curious why he was always alone.

She concentrated her energy to the bottoms of her feet and with a few carefully placed leaps she jumped from branch to branch pushing the thick summer foliage aside and landed on the branch across from his. The distance just in case he was grumpy, in which case she'd just fall and leave. Simple.

The view really was amazing up here. The buildings spread out from this nexus like fans up to the very walls and beyond that she could see forest for miles. It was a sea of deep green as far as she could see. She paused for a moment to take all that beauty in.

"What are you doing up here? I thought maybe you'd like to walk around the street fair with me. We could get some food and wait til dark, that's when all the fun stuff happens."

He didn't answer but he didn't glare at her either, or knock her off her perch. Instead he stared at her as if she was a particularly gross bug that had landed near him, how rude!

"If you don't want to that's fine, but I was going to meet up with Ino and her group and we were going to watch the fireworks together. I guess you can find me if you need something." She indicated the sand that still hadn't fallen off her arm since the night before, in a weird way it was kind of sweet. Well, it was only sweet if you ignored the part where he blatantly said he was doing it to monitor her in case she went awol and tried to kill him. That part wasn't sweet at all.

She was about to jump down to the ground when his sand reached out and not ungently wrapped around her ankles, "Wait."

She was surprised he'd stopped her, she had only invited him to be polite, despite the voice saying she was kidding herself. Still, she had never expected him to want to go, or was he wanting something else entirely? She wouldn't jump now, he'd break her ankle so she pushed against the sand to try. She nodded and when he took back his sand she seated herself more comfortably.

"What is it?"

"I don't understand why you are up here when you have no duties to perform. It's obvious I scare you and you are doing this job for the Hokage only, so why would you do anything beyond that?"

She supposed it wasn't necessary to take him to the festival or really act beyond direct requests that he might have for her but that would be cruel. She got the sense he really did want to interact with people but just didn't know how, in that respect she felt a sort of kinship for him. He'd never really been treated as just another person and that was what tugged on her heart strings. As long as he didn't hurt her or anyone she loved... or the civilians, she'd probably continue to go out of her way for him. But how could she tell him any of that without wounding his pride and making him angry? No man wants to hear someone feels sorry for him because he's pathetic... _Emotionally _pathetic that is, physically he could probably kick her can all over Konoha without missing a beat. Not that she would ever admit that out loud, she had her pride too after all.

"Well, uh... It'd be a shame not to do any sightseeing while you're here, you're probably too busy doing secret military leader things to have much fun at home. Besides, if you go with me than I'm doing official political duties and won't be forced on security detail tonight. See? Win win."

He snorted, "Fine. I'll go with you, it might be... fun."

She swallowed, somehow it was very wrong for Gaara to say that anything might be "fun".

~O~

She wasn't entirely surprised when Ino, Kiba and Choji ditched them. In fact she was impressed they had stuck around as long as they had. With the way Gaara tended to stare at people as if they might be delicious she sometimes wanted to ditch too. However she was unmaimed so far and she took that as a good sign and doggedly continued to drag him through the festival despite how tense he was and the glares he threw at anyone stupid enough to make eye contact with him. She could understand his apprehension, a person like Gaara tended to make enemies and if anyone would dare to attack Gaara they'd do it in a place like this where it was noisy and distracting. Though she doubted Gaara would be easy to take down even if it was fair and square, one on one.

It wasn't dark yet but the street was still lit up with about a million paper lanterns. It seemed like every inhabitant of the village was out and about today. She always forgot how big a village Konoha actually was, there were so many people! It was a riot of color, everyone was wearing the brightest and fanciest clothing. It was like a parade of peacocks, everyone trying to impress. Celebrating with people like this always made her lighthearted.

She was surprised that despite his unsociable behavior and their subsequent isolation she was actually having a lot of fun. If you ignored the awkward silence there were actually perks to having Gaara around: nobody shoved her or took cuts in line and in fact people seemed to disperse wherever they went so she saw more of this festival than she could remember ever seeing in the past and of course they had eaten at least one of every fried food on a stick they came across courtesy of the Keep the Kazekage Happy fund and she had even managed to win some prizes at the game booths. She knew they were probably all rigged but she couldn't help herself, and every time she won she thanked her training that let her compensate for cheating carnival hawkers. They had even managed to catch a small bag of goldfish and she named and tucked every one of them safely into her belt. She'd have to find a bowl for them later because the fireworks were coming up and that was the best part. She would have to hurry though to get to her favorite spot without anybody following.

Without even thinking she grabbed his hand, it was the only way they could stick together as she took them to the best place to watch the fireworks in all Konoha. She weaved them through all the people milling around, and the dancers and acrobats and all the stands out to the edge of town. She ignored the way he almost seemed to crush her hand in his shaking one, they were almost there.

The eleventh training ground was on higher ground then most other open areas surrounding Konoha. It was mostly wooded but in one area the trees opened up and you could lie on the hillside and watch the sky. She knew most people would head to the third training ground because of the wide open meadow and how near it was to where they actually shot off the fireworks but number eleven was better. It was far enough away that the noise wouldn't deafen you and it was secluded enough that you didn't see the lights of Konoha. In fact she came here a lot just to watch the stars.

Gaara didn't say anything, he'd been really quiet the entire evening not that it was really strange, so she wasn't surprised that he didn't comment on the blanket that she pulled from her backpack though he didn't help her lay it out either. Yet she wasn't mad and didn't feel the need to talk either, they had kind of picked a rhythm up while down in the fair and it was... nice. With Naruto you sometimes had to shout to get a word in edgewise and sometimes it was better to leave Kakashi out of conversations entirely. She set her few prizes to the side with her new fish where they wouldn't be in the way and sat on the blanket careful not to wrinkle her yukata. She was pretty proud of it, she had bought it while on a mission with Kakashi for a very reasonable price. Kakashi had been mildly impressed that she was so good at haggling and Kakashi being mildly impressed by anything was quite the achievement.

She leaned back against a tree and smoothed the skirt out around her legs as she waited for the firework show to begin. The material was colored a dark purple and it was covered with sprays of pink and white carnations. She thought the darker colors made her eyes pop and in any case she wouldn't complain anyway since getting it for so cheap. Glancing again at Gaara, he wasn't looking too bad himself. She had always thought his clothing was pretty dingy but it seemed his regular uniform had gone through some improvements. It was still functional but the colors were slightly more prominent. He wore a high collared red trench coat, that was pretty form fitting around his slender chest, that offset the plain black pants he wore. It was elegantly simple compared to some outfits she'd seen. She was a little disappointed he hadn't broken out anymore fancy outfits but that was ok she figured she'd see some more by the end of his stay.

She pulled a thermos of tea from her pack and offered him some, she almost thought he was smiled but figured she was seeing nothing in the dark. He sat next to her in a puff of dust and she almost laughed, which in turn made him snort. This was all so... normal. It was weird. Time to change the subject!

"How was the meeting this morning? I bet nobody was happy."

"No, nobody was happy. Basically it was bunch of old geezers arguing over who was more to blame."

"Bet Shishou got the butt end of that deal."

"Very much so."

They fell back into silence and for the next fifteen minutes or so and Sakura just listened to the night. It was near the end of summer so things were beginning to cool off as much as they ever would this far south. It was actually just right, a slight breeze ruffled her hair and caused goosebumps to raise on her arms. She could hear night birds calling to each other in the trees, it was so peaceful. It was always quietly still like that in the months leading up to monsoon season. But who would have imagined that she and Gaara would be sharing a blanket to watch the sun set all by themselves. It was almost corny.

As the sun dipped below the hill and everything was washed in that last cool light, Gaara turned to her, "Thank you."

"What?"

"I said thank you. That's the customary response isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, I just never thought to hear you say it especially not to me."

"I never thought I would either."

She leaned back down and crossed her feet at the ankles, "Are you happy now that you're the Kazekage?"

He didn't answer for a moment, as the first fireworks began to explode in the sky green and blue. Followed quickly by a yellow one and a red one. They were starting small this year.

"I don't think I am. I think I'm more at peace than I've ever been but I don't think I've felt real happiness yet."

A large purple firework bloomed in the sky followed by a bright white screamer, she could hear it echo all the way over here, "Being at peace is a good start, to be honest talking with like rationally adults at all is a bit surreal to me."

"Yeah. I always thought I'd spend the rest of my life being the monster stalking the night."

With a nervous laugh she agreed, "You were pretty good at it."

With a sly grin only lit faintly by moonlight he replied, "Some would say I still am."

He reached out abruptly and touched the hem of her dress, "I like this. It suits you."

She blushed and fervently hoped he couldn't tell, "Thank you."

The fireworks were nice but the longer she sat next to Gaara the less and less interesting the show became. She couldn't figure him out and it was driving her insane. He was being... nice and she was conflicted about it. Was he being nice to be nice and right the past or was he being nice because he wanted something. And in the very back of her head, in a small voice, was the idea that maybe they were one and the same and she should stop being so paranoid. It was hard to let go though, she kept finding herself falling into the same patterns, Sasuke could attest to that.

"Do you think that people are ruled by fate and really don't have free will?"

He turned to her with his head slightly tilted, "Why?"

She drew her knees up to her chin and rested her head on her arms with a sigh, "It's just reassuring to think that maybe the big picture is just going to happen regardless of what's going on but on the other hand I don't like the thought that I'm not in control and can't change the bad things that might happen. And if bad things do happen and it didn't matter what you did to try and prevent it does that mean there is a god out there and he just doesn't give a shit and people will keep dying for no reason?"

He sat back and watched the sky, "I think you're thinking about it too much. Either way what does it matter? You're still here, if you just lay down and stop moving then you'll die. Does that mean that you foiled the "grand plan" or does that mean you were meant to die? Nobody could possibly know."

"What do you believe?"

"I believe that the world is chaos and in the end it's all meaningless."

"You can't really believe that?"

"How can it not be meaningless? Patterns form only to change or they create anomalies. Laws are made and then broken or have exceptions. There's no set standard. We live and then we die. We won't be remembered, our existences are finite."

She shivered, from cold or sadness she wouldn't say, "I have to believe that there's more to the story than that. There has to be some purpose, some reason for things to be the way they are."

"Maybe there is, I wouldn't know." He was being dismissive and it bothered her, he of all people should care about why they were here on earth, shouldn't he?

"Maybe fate is like the universe trying to restore balance. Things that are right just fall into alignment eventually and it's not like every life is being planned out from beginning to end."

He shrugged, "Sounds as good as anything else. I still don't think it matters but I've been wrong before."

"You're really strange."

"And you aren't?"

She turned back to the fireworks without a reply, she had a lot to think about. Gaara had done horrible things and here she was speaking to him on equal ground. This man had tried to kill pretty much every person she loved and... she liked him. He was strong but also seemed intelligent and she found herself drawn into conversations to a degree she'd never imagine. She almost felt guilty about it.

Would it be easier to accept that fate was directing her to forgiveness, that it was cosmically destined to be? Or was she just afraid that she was moving on and her dreams of Sasuke were falling apart because she could accept a person like Gaara could become a friend? She could feel herself changing and it was disorientating her neat little world.

The finale began and she pushed her downwardly spiraling thoughts aside. It was pathetic that everything came back around to Sasuke. She had been cheated though! All her plans and hopes just thrown aside like so much trash, Sasuke had even taken Naruto away. What did she have left? She didn't feel like she could validate herself, maybe that's why she could relate to Gaara so well. They weren't anything alike but she could see the parallels regardless. They had both been disappointments, she just withdrew while Gaara lashed out.

"Did you hear that?"

She jerked her head up, senses straining to hear what he did... Faintly she thought she could hear something like screaming, "Is that...?"

"Yes," His eyes narrowed off into the distance, she wouldn't be surprised if he really could see that far, "Something's happening down there and it doesn't sound good. Do you have your gear?"

She was already taking off the yukata, underneath she was wearing the mesh outfit she wore to train in, and grabbing a kunai out of her bag, "I have enough."

With a grin he strapped his gourd to his back and leapt down the hill, "Disguising explosions behind the fireworks, how clever, this should be fun."

There he went saying things were fun again, she pulled her gloves on with a smile and followed after.


End file.
